Psychological counselling / therapy

Psychological counselling / therapy Part I

What is psychological counselling or therapy?

In essence it is a conversation between two or more people. Sometimes psychological counselling is also referred to as talk-therapy. The reason for the existence of this term is that there are also other therapies alleviating mental health problems or improving general mental health. As an example of this, you get physical therapies, directed at the body, such as TRE (Trauma release exercises). Other therapies involve the use of chemicals, such as medication for anxiety or depression. Additionally, some people also use non-Western therapies, such as acupuncture and moxibustion for fatigue, depression, anxiety and insomnia. Alternatively, it is used for maintaining general physical and mental wellbeing. For the purposes of this post, I will always refer to talk-therapy when I use the term, “therapy”.

Problems with some traditional views on therapy and psychological counselling

Understanding behaviour, thoughts or emotions is a prerequisite for change.

One traditional view is that therapy must provide understanding of a person’s behaviour, thoughts and emotions. The reasoning and conventional wisdom is, that once you understand something, you can do something about it.

The aforementioned is definitely true in some cases. However, there are several limitations to this viewpoint. Psychology is not an absolute / “hard” science. There is no objective, ultimate answer or truth to find. There is no single understanding of a particular human problem/ behaviour / emotion / thought. You will ask 10 people (whether they are “general members of the public” or “professionals) and you will get 10 understandings of what you are presenting to them.

Maybe an absolute, objective answer is not important. Maybe it’s about helping a client construct his/her own answer that makes sense to him/her, irrespective of how others view it. Sometimes this can be very powerful. The sense-making process can have value in itself. I believe, if this is the need of the client, then the client should have to opportunity to explore this.

NOW WHAT?!

Unfortunately, this often also has its limitations. Making sense of something often provides relieve, purpose and well-being in the moment. However, in a week or a month or a year from now suddenly what used to make sense, no longer makes sense. You have encountered numerous counterarguments in the meantime, you started questioning your understanding, you heard the interpretation of others, life taught you what you thought is no longer “true”.

Even if the person creates meaning for him/herself of their behaviour, emotions and thoughts and it sticks, the next questions usually is, NOW WHAT?!

To reach this point where you have developed your own understanding, often required a lot of time in therapy. Sometimes this can take months or even years.

That initial relieve (after having made sense of whatever you grappled with) often turns into disillusionment, disappointment and even despair.

Alternative psychological counselling / therapy approach

The emphasis of our approach is not on understanding the person or “the problem” or interpreting the behaviour, thoughts or feelings. Rather, our approach focuses on amplifying already existing resources, strengths, skills and personality traits in order for the client to become the best version of him/herself despite their circumstances.

This does not require you or the therapist to understand the behaviour, thoughts or emotions. This does not require the therapist or counsellor to delve into your past. This does not require you to give a blow-by-blow account of your trauma.

Human issues are complex and multi-faceted. Often, we simply can’t make sense of our own behaviour, thoughts or emotions. Let alone someone else’s! Sometimes the past is just so traumatic that person cannot revisit that (yet).

Who are the experts?

Yes, psychological counselling / therapy in essence is a conversation. However, this is not just any conversation. This conversation is structured to focus on certain information and ask questions that will more likely lead to long-lasting change.

Therapists or counsellors in this approach are not the experts on content – we don’t have the answers and solutions to your problems. YOU are the expert on YOUR life. However, WE ARE the experts in the process of therapy / counselling.

What can you expect during counselling / therapy?

As in any other proper talk-therapy, you will be in a safe, confidential space. You have the opportunity to share your inner world with the therapist without judgement from the therapist’s side. Instead, the therapist will at all times strive to display unconditional acceptance, openness, authenticity and empathy.

This specific approach is question-based. It doesn’t feel like an interrogation though, it’s all part of normal conversations. It is extremely rare that people find these specific questions “too personal” or intimidating. Typical comments are, “no one has ever asked me these questions before”, “these questions really made me think”, “I have never realised that X, Y or Z before you asked me these questions”.

Invitation

I have a passion to be with clients within their current pain. At the same time, I listen for signs of coping, resilience, and skills DESPITE your circumstances. From here I guide you to move from your current pain, closer to the best version of yourself. Moving to a hope-filled future, even amidst dire circumstances.