“Tuesdays with Morrie” principle

In the acclaimed book, Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom, 1997), Mitch, a journalist, visits his terminally ill Sociology professor, Morrie, every week on a Tuesday.

Every week Morrie teaches Mitch some life lessons. One of Morrie’s ways of dealing with his prognosis, loss of independence and health was to set half an hour (if I remember the time correctly, although the exact time duration is not the point) every day aside to feel sorry for himself, to grieve, to experience the sadness and loss.

If at any other point during his day he drifted to sadness, grief or self-pity, he stopped and reminded himself that he will have time later in the day during his allocated time to feel those feelings and emotions, but not right now.

This is a principle that can be applied in a wide variety of difficult life circumstances. This is a very healthy and sensible approach / principle – life goes on. Life doesn’t stop because of our own individual sorrows, traumas and crises. We need to go on, we need to move ahead.

At the same time, if we do not acknowledge and air our emotions, it will often boil over at some point in time / and or prevent us from moving forward and facing life. Therefore, setting a specific time aside every day to consciously become aware of what we experience, to acknowledge and name the experiences are crucial.

To temporarily push creeping feelings of sadness, grief or self-pity aside with the commitment of addressing it later on during the day during a set time period is not the same as denying or suppressing experiences and feelings – it is often just what is required from you in that moment, because it is an inappropriate place or time, or just because life moves on despite your problems.

I have had adolescent clients whose parents were terminally ill, got divorced or passed away, who used to have intrusive thoughts of their parent and his/her suffering.

However, by applying the “Tuesdays with Morrie” principle they managed to focus and concentrate when needed and managed to continue with everyday activities by “parking” the thoughts and feelings until later the day when they could give proper attention to these.

This time set aside can be used by examining (thinking about) your thoughts and experiences from earlier the day / writing about it / singing about / telling someone about it / sharing it with a professional.

As a matter of fact, this principle can not only be used during the “dark days” of your life but can be a lifelong habit – becoming aware of what you experienced during a day, that you could not allow yourself to fully experience in the moment, whether positive or negative, makes you more consciously aware of your inner life and more mindful.